Liz: I was watching the news and there was this dog that saved its owner’s life. The lady couldn’t breathe and the dog brought her the phone book and opened to the right number and saved her life.
Me: That’s crazy!
Liz: That’s why I hate animals. They can’t be trusted.
Me: What? But that dog just saved someone’s life.
Liz: Yeah they’re too smart.
Me: I think you're right. When you told me that story I thought it was cool but now it’s really weird. Dog’s pretend to be dumb and yet that dog knew to get a phone book and opened to the right page. He could read. What else can dogs do that we don’t know about?
Me: I mean when we’re not looking are they making hot pockets in the microwave? Making phone calls to the neighbor dogs?
Liz: They are, they are. That’s what I’m saying! They’re deceitful!
Me: So wait, if you were dying and a dog came up to you and offered to save your life would you say no?
Liz: No I’d let him save my life but I’d tell him we can’t be friends afterwards.
Me: Yeah. That dog should have just given the woman CPR. See now he’s not so smart.
Liz: He didn’t want to blow his cover.
Me: Oh my gosh they’re smarter than us all.
How do you guys feel about that news story? It genuinely freaked me out.